Red Chair Blue Chair
by gaben
Summary: Which chair would you rather be in if you're a 10 year old Cartwright child and have got yourself in a heap of trouble? Warning: spanking of a minor. Re-formatted 2011.
1. The Corner

**RED CHAIR BLUE CHAIR**

Summary :Which chair would you rather be in when you're a 10 year old Cartwright child and have got yourself in a heap of trouble.?

A.N A ten year olds point of view of the mid 1800' s ( 1st person - Italics)

Disclaimer: I do not own Bonanza, or any of its characters. David Dortort and Fred Hamilton created them and played with them for 14 years. The series is owned by NBC

Warnings: Spanking of a minor.

**CHAPTER ONE : The Corner.**

_I hate standing in the corner next to the big fire place and the blue chair. That darn blue chair; Dad's chair. Well today it was the; 'DARN chair'; the 'DARN corner'; that 'DARN Mrs. Wilburn'... And all because I didn't want to wear a dress! All because that old biddy couldn't keep her opinions to herself. All because I needed to save myself. All because Mrs. ' Busybody, Stick your two pennies worth in, Wilburn fell over. All because I couldn't think of any other way to escape her crushing weight and sticking a …._

At that point Adam walked into the big room. "Hey, no talking in the naughty corner!"

_Damn Dad must have really good hearing, because I wasn't talking very loudly; jist mumbling to myself and worrying, standing in the corner next to the big fire and that DARN blue chair…_

"I wasn't talking! I was just thinking out loud!" _ I turned to see where he was, only ta find him standing right behind me. Damn, he's really fast too._

"Alexandra Cartwright, do not sass me!" Adam grabbed her by the forearm and turning her side on landed a short sharp swat to her backside. "Now face that corner until I'm ready for our little talk about this morning's unfortunate event." Another swat was administered as Alex was turned back to face the huge bluestone bricks. "And, NO thinking out loud!"

The only thing Alex was thinking now was about the sting in her tail. Wishing she could rub it, but she dare not take the chance; her father could most likely still in the room. He could be really quiet too. Her father's little talk would come soon enough and if she got caught fidgeting or anything it would become more than just a little talk.

_Darn that blue chair! _

The red chair was Alex's favourite. Her Grandpa would sit in it and smoke his pipe or read his paper. Adam often sat in it reading his book when Ben was at his desk. Alex would cuddle up to whoever inhabited it; getting her back rubbed when she was sick; getting a story read to her just before bedtime; getting wrapped up in a blanket on a cold night and sung to by her father, after waking up from a bad dream. Even Hoss and Joe had sat with her in the big red chair. Uncle Joe and Alex often fought over who could sit in it when it became vacant. More than often they both ended up in it. The seat was big enough for the two of them. Uncle Hoss **became** the big red Chair. Sitting with him was the best of all. The Big Red Chair was a safe place.

Joe and Hoss burst through the front door after an early finish to a huge fencing job they had spent the last six days working on. They noticed Alex standing in the corner.

"Oh Ohh," said Joe. He had been in that corner many a time. It meant trouble for the child standing guard there.

"Hey de ho, Punpkin." Hoss always called her pumpkin, or possum or cup cake, sweet pea or kitten. Food or animals were Hoss's most favourite things.

"Shhh, I'm not allowed to talk, Uncle Hoss, not even to think out loud .You'll get me into big trouble, " she whispered.

"ALEXANDRA!" Adam yelled from the kitchen. Alex jumped and so did Hoss. Joe just giggled.

They left her and headed into the kitchen to get some coffee and a snack. Hop Sing was sure to have made some doughnuts. They were also keen to hear about the events that lead to their ten year old niece being sent to the corner. It was sure to be an interesting, and knowing Alex, a very humorous story. Knowing Adam even more and his obvious frustrations with his young daughter, his explanation and delivery of the tale would be hilarious.

**TBC**

**Chapter 2 - When Did It All Go Wrong.**

A.N. I know it's a bit short, but chapter 1 needs to finish here before I go to a flashback. You will have to bear with me I'm new at this and just learning to upload. Please review, I have this story finished, just a little tweaking to do, but if it's no good I'll drop it. It was fun anyway. Also ... There is a back story to Alexandra Cartwright, but it's a bit sad, so I don't know that I'll ever tell it. Maybe when she's a bit older?


	2. When Did It All Go Wrong

RED CHAIR BLUE CHAIR

Disclaimers: Same as in chapter 1.

CHAPTER TWO : Where Did It All Go Wrong

_"I've been in this corner for so long. It's just not fair. Uncle Hoss and Uncle Joe have gone into the kitchen. I can smell Hop Sing's doughnuts from here. I'm hungry and dinner is age's aways'. I probably won't want any once daddy has had his talk. ….hmmm .Yes I will, sore butt or not! Hop Sing is making a meal "fit for a King because grandpas coming home and every ones "spected" to be there for dinner. Uncle Joe will make sure I get a cushion. Maybe?"_

_"They're awfully darn quiet in there. Daddy's probably telling them all about this morning. I've got to stand here and THINK about what I did wrong, about the CHOICES! What choices? It's not like I got any or will get any. Well I'm just "gonna" think about how I'm "gonna" get out of trouble. THINK, THINK ….HMMMM; I'm in deep poo! Or as Molly would say; ' You're up shit creek without a paddle,' except once dad comes back and sits in the blue chair and starts asking all those questions, I'm supposed to be thinking about, not out loud, I'm 'gonna' get that paddle across dad's knee just like that stupid Mrs Wilburn suggest he give me. Darn Mrs. Big Bum Wilburn - Busy Body, Sticky Nose Bi…"_

Suddenly Laughter broke through Alex's thoughts.

Hoss, Joe, Adam and Hop Sing sat in the kitchen eating doughnuts and drinking freshly brewed coffee, listening to Adams animated version of the events of a simple little trip to Virginia City to get supplies and buy new dresses for Alex.

"_They're laughing? They're eating doughnuts! Hey they're laughing. That's a good thing. Maybe I'm not in as much trouble. Maybe it won't be as bad as it looks, or as bad as dad looked? Wonder what their laughing at? Which Part? Hmmm the day started off good. Well until I woke up_!"

_**Flashback **_

Dad came into my room really, really early; about 7 o'clock. "Come on lazy bones. You need to get dressed, have breakfast and collect the eggs. Then we are going to town. "

But I wasn't in bed. I was under it trying to find my Uncle Joe's marble. "Found it!"

"Alex where are you? "

"I'm under the bed, Dad"

"Come out of there. What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing," I grunted, while trying to back out. My night shirt got caught on a splinter of the bed rail and as crawled backwards it got pulled up over my head. "Oh no! I'm stucktded"

Daddy just laughed.

To tell you the truth I got a little scared. I hate getting anything caught over my head or getting caught up in anything. It's like when you toss and turn all night and get tangled in the sheets or ya get really cold in the middle of the night and ya keep snuggling down into ya bed and ya end up at the bottom and when ya wake up ya don't know whether you're up or down, and for ages ya feel like ya never gonna get out , and ya gonna starve or ya gonna die or ya gonna wet the bed cause ya always really gotta go when ya first wake up.

"It's not funny! I'm really 'stucktded'. My shirts tuck on this damn bed springy or something and I can't undo the darn thing"

"Young lady, I would watch your language if I were you, especially seeing that you are stuck and your bare bottom is in good swatting distance. Self preservation should be your main concern, so if you will stop wriggling, I will 'unstucktded you"

Daddy had to lie on the floor and reach under the bed to unhook my night shirt. He then lifted me up and sat on the bed and plonked me on his lap. I was a little worried about my cussin' and my face got hot when I looked into his dark brown eyes with these really thick eyebrows pointing down at his nose and right at me.

"What's self preser…avation?" I asked, as I followed one eye brow with my pointy finger, trying to push it up and unwrinkle it. I thought, _if I can get one up the other one will follow._

"Well it's the instinctive need to do what is necessary to survive danger."

"HUH"? I held both thumbs now in place at both corners of his eyebrows willing them to stay up.

"It means …hmm. Saving yourself; getting yourself out of a tight spot by using your brains or your basic instincts."

Gosh! It was hard keeping his eyebrows up when he was thinking too hard! Then I remembered, "Oh I've got my lucky marble. It can keep me out of tight spots. Does it count?"

Daddy stopped frowning and smiled, and then he kissed my forehead." Yes it counts"

"Seeeee, my lucky marble works!"

Dad looked around my messy bed, "Well I see you have all your lucky charms with you today. Your Uncle Joe's marble, which was my marble before his and grandpas marble before mine. 'Ahh … and, " he said as he leant over to grab the black shirt underneath my pillow, "my not sold old black shirt that you failed to return to me after I lent it to you on the trail one night, if I remember right, ….when you first came home."

"It's my favourite. It smells like you. If I have a bad dream and I'm too scared to get out of bed, cause ya never know what's under there and it might grab by the ankles and suck ya right under, course if I had longer legs I could probably jump from by bed to the door, or it's just too darn cold to get out of bed, I just put my face in it like this…" I showed dad, sticking my nose in this crumpled shirt and took a big sniff, "and I pretend you are here and you will shoot any bad monster that tries to hurt me, even ifin' you are in your night shirt."

Daddy was smiling at me again. It made me giggle.

"Now wait a minute," he said as he looked around the bedroom. "Where's Little George?"

Uncle Hoss had given me Little George. He was a freak of nature; A small, White King George rabbit. Well, King George rabbits were supposed to be BIG rabbits, but little George was a dwarf rabbit. Uncle Hoss and Uncle Joe bred him. They were gonna make skins for a man to make rabbit skin coats for snobby ladies and were gonna make a lot of money and be rich. But they only made lots of rabbits instead. They made grandpa fall off his horse and bruise his butt. Grandpa sold them all, well nearly all of them, Hop sing cooked a few and they had them for supper. Little George was too little to sell for his fur and too small to eat. He sure was some lucky little rabbit. Lucky I wasn't around, then cause I wouldna been able to eat Little Georges mum and dad. Uncle Hoss gave him to me when I first came to the Ponderosa.

" huh … Oh Little George is in his ah, ah his pen," I said.

"Really?" asked dad in a growly voice and frowning his eyebrows, AGAIN.

" No, " I sighed, and wishing I could lie better. I traced his brow with my thumb trying to straighten them out by pushing them up into his forehead. Then little George appeared out of my wardrobe.

Dads spotted him, "stop that," he growled, pulling my hands off his face and looking me straight in the eye he said, "You know you aren't supposed to have him in here at night."

"OOwuch," while I was looking at his eyes, I didn't see his hand smack me on the leg.

"And no telling little white rabbit lies either, missy. Not a good start to the day Alex. Now lets you dressed, fed and into town. School starts next Monday and you need some new dresses, smocks and shoes.

"AWWW ... do I haft to! I don't want any new dresses, I don't want to wear a dress. You said I could ride Leo to school this year and I can't wear a dress, specially ones with petticoats. I can't run fast in a dress. I can't play marbles. I can't climb trees'. I can't be….."

Dad put his hand over my mouth, "we've been through all this. Little girls wear dresses to school. You can wear your pants and overalls when you're here at the ranch, or when you're doing your chores, or riding Leo AFTER School, but when your go to school or church on Sundays you will wear a clean and tidy dress. You've spent the entire summer in pants or overalls, and bear feet most of the time. You are not going to school looking like something the cat dragged in. You've grown and you need new ones."

I didn't think there was much use in arguing. Daddy is the bossiest stubborn Yankee Granite Head in the whole world. But I wasn't very y happy. I jumped off his lap. I thought of stamping my foot but then thought I better not; Dad's hand was very close and very big.

"Fine!" I huffed and crossed my arms and walked away. "Next you'll be putting great big ribbons in my hair. I'll look like a damn King George rabbit." I thought to myself.

"SMACK, OW, SMACK, SMACK, OWWEEE GEESHH." _Gosh I've got to stop thinking out loud. I don't even know I'm doin it._

"That's the second time. I warned you about cussing" the Granite Head said while swatting my butt. HARD! I wished I had been dressed instead of wearing this thin darn night shirt.

I quickly went to my drawers and grabbed some clean clothes. I collected my short leg union underwear, my overalls and a clean white shirt with little embroidered flowers on the collar. Maybe that will get me in the good books with daddy again. It was very "Little Girlie". Better take my lucky marble too. Just in case.

**That was just the start .Things really got a whole lot worse. Thinking back now, I shoulda taken little George as well! **

TBC –

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I hope it wasn't too confusing. Again it's told from Alex's point of view and thoughts. As you can see she gets off track well not really; she's just a very "lateral thinking Out Loud 10 year old." Normal.

Not too many more chapters to go. You will get a little insight to where Alex came from in them but probably more in some sequels I have planned.

Chapter 3 – Mrs Busybody, Sticky Nose, Big Bum Wilburn.


	3. Mrs BusybodyStickyNoseBig Bum,Wilburn

RED CHAIR BLUE CHAIR

.A.N. Same disclaimers as in chapter 1

Warning: Spanking of a minor unless Alex can talk her way out of it.

CHAPTER Three:

Mrs Busybody, Sticky Nose, Big Bum, Wilburn.

**That was just the start .Things really got a whole lot worse. Thinking back now I shoulda taken little George! **

_I've been standing in this darn corner for all my life, waiting for the hand of doom. My legs were killing me. By dinner time tonight so would my butt. There had to be a way out of this. There had to be a way out of being put across my father's knee. Darn that blue chair, it's just there at the end of the stairs tucked into the corner next to the big fire, and me in between, corralled like one of Uncle Joe's wild horses. It has a tall back on it and practically no arm rests that just blend into its legs, which makes it seem to have an extra set of knees. One on each side of my dad's when he sits in it. Course I never really get the chance to sit in it, mainly just over It.!_

_Think ! Think!..._

" Hey… I've been in here nearly forever, can't I come out, " I called to the kitchen.

" It's only been twenty minutes and No!" dad called back.

_Gosh, he's a meanie._

"But I need to Gooooo," I called out again. I crossed my fingers and turned back to face the cold blue stone bricks.

'"ALEXANDRA!"Dad yelled as he came into the big room. His big deep voice scared me so much a little bit of pee came out.

"Huh" I gulped

"This better not be some trick"

"Please daddy I really need to go," _NOW!_

Just then Uncle Joe came into the room. "I'll take her. Come on pip squeak."

Uncle Joe came and took my arm and tried to lead me past my dad and out through the kitchen door to the outhouse. I wasn't taking any chances passing by those quick, large hands; my hands were small and didn't cover enough of my backside to help with any protection.

"Its quicker out the front door uncle Joe and I gotta go real bad." And I led him through the front door.

As we got to the outhouse he asked "need any help?"

"No I got it "I said already unclipping the overall stays."You don't have to wait for me, I could be ages."

"Oh really, don't you want me to check for snakes and spiders?"

_Why did he have to say that!_ "Oh yeah I forgot."

He had a quick look around. "all clear …. I'll just wait over hear by the stump."

_I went in and quickly undid the flap of my underwear and did what I needed to do. It wasn't a big job. But Joe didn't know that, so I did my pants up and dropped the lid and sat down to give my legs a rest and a new view. Not a pretty one; the corner was getting very uninteresting. Hey, there one of Joe's old Paper pack detective books. I could just sit back and read this for a while._

"You alright in there?" yelled Uncle Little Joe.

"Yep, just gotta bit of a tummy ache," I said as I settled myself on the long bench and lent against the corner.

_Thank goodness the "can ''had been replaced yesterday. Cause the smell wasn't too bad. Any way what's this story about;… gosh I can't concentrate I kept thinking about that old sticky nose , big bum Mrs. Wilburn and what she said in town this morning. _

_**Flash back**_

Everything got worse when dad and I got into town. I wanted to ride Leo but we had to get more supplies for Hop sing, so we took the wagon. Grandpa was away and expected home later today or tonight but if the stage came in early we would also be able to take his luggage home… I hope he brings presents! We walked in the store. Mr. Potter was behind the counter. I saw the candy jar full to the brim and my eyes lit up. I started to count the sour drops from the bottom of the large glass jars. This would give me some practice for the Easter Carnival. If you can guess the amount of candies in the jar you get to keep the whole jar. It only costs a penny to guess, so if you guess right you pretty much quadruple your investment. Just like breeding rabbits. I had been practicing every time I came into the store. Give or take about ten the number of candies was always about the same. I was sure to win. _Bet nobody thought of this._

"Good morning Adam,'' greeted Mr. Potter.

"Morning Sam, I see you have those new shelves up. Quite a new layout to the store."

"Yup; trying to get the most out of the space. I need more storage; tryin to keep costs down by buying in bulk. I'm not sure about the big shelves in the middle though. I haven't stuck much on them yet, probably put some of the lightweight goods on it."

Mr Potter had arranged the store with big tall shelves that nearly hit the roof. There was one along the back wall one in the middle and one along the side wall. It kinda made skinny isles. The middle one was nearly empty still, cept'n for a few sewing and girlie things. Then there was the window shelves that had all the things that Mr potter really wanted people to buy, so he put them on display so people could look at them through the window instead of them clogging up the store.

"What? Are you concerned about the stability? "asked Dad.

"A little," frowned Mr Potter.

Dad walked over and checked them out … "It would probably be a good idea to brace them here and here, and then attach three verticals to the roof. Daddy was really good at designing things, he is not just a cowboy, he's an architect. They draw things and then get them made so they look exactly like it for real. He helped people build windmills and stuff. Once he helped this man build a whole mine that was safe for the people to work in. He is really, really, smart.

" Hmm, good idea…Thanks Adam I might just get onto that tomorrow." Said Mr. Potter.

Too bad, he didn't think of that himself, specially before we came to town and Mrs. Sticky Nose, Big Bum Wilburn came into the store.

Dad gave Mr. Potter Hops Sing's list and ordered a bag of candy.

"Good show old man," I mimicked dads toffy English man's voice.

But dad wouldn't hand them over, " Uh, uh, not until you've tried on a couple of dresses."

"Are you trying to bribe me?''

''Yep!''

''Isn't that against the law?''

"Nope, not unless I want you to do something bad. And trying on a couple dresses isn't a federal offence… Now let's see, here try this blue one on, then what about this pink check?''

" Noooooooooo!"

" Oh and this green one is so cute, see Alexandra it has pretty little yellow flowers all over it … and look it has a matching bonnet. It will be like sitting in a field of daisies.''

"NOOOOOOOO" I put my hand into my overall pocket and rubbed my lucky marble.

Dad pushed me towards the change rooms at the back of the store. I had to go down the middle isle between the two big shelves to get to it.

''Go, Alexandra and try them on,'' he ordered.

Mr potter was laughing as dad kept on teasing, "I just find you a couple of petticoats … I think at least three, oh and some pantaloons with lace trims and ribbons.''

_I felt like I'd just be sentenced to doom._

Mr potter then decided to get into the act, "oh won't these just look adorable," he said in this really stupid high pitched ladies voice. " She'll look like a real little china doll.''

That was it! I know I'm small for my age but I'm much bigger than any dumb old doll. I stomped off to the changing rooms. And quickly tried on all three dresses…Two of them were a pretty good fit, but the green on was way too big.

" Thank You, Lord Jesus " I thought, then nodded my head.

"Alexandra Williameena Cartwright! Did I just hear you take the Lord God's name in vain!"

Geesh, did I just think that out loud? "No I was just talking to his son."

I could hear him commin, dad that is not Jesus, though I could do with his help, he called me by all three names, which meant he was MAD.I quickly did up my braces.

"Young lady you are treading a very thin line. Using God's name OR HIS SON'S as a cuss is very, very wrong." He said, more like he was disappointed rather than angry. I hate that. I nearly started crying as I tried to explain.

"But, Father O'Halloran told me that as long as you nod your head when you say Jesus, he'll know it was a prayer instead of a cuss. And prayers aren't always about asking for stuff. Ya says prayers for thank yous to God too. And well I'm mighty grateful to him right now. That's all I swea… I promise, I wasn't cussin him, I was thanking him. You remember Father O'Halloran, you said he was a good man, cause he didn't just talk to all the important good people. That he talked to the not so important good people, like Molly and momma and the other girls. I could see that he believed me and didn't look so mad anymore and was nearly smiling.

"So what were you thanking him for?

I handed him back one of the dresses. "The greens one too big."

Dad pinched the end of his nose, which Grandpa says he does when he's anxious or obnoxious or somethink… worried. So I figured I ortta make him happy, "but the other two are fine," I grumbled and walked back and handed them to Mr Potter. "But, can I change the pink one for the purple one instead,? I asked.

Dad looked down at me. ''It's not going to make much of difference, you'll be wearing a smock over it when you at school.''

"WELL, what does it matter if it's not pink then!'' I yelled back.

SWAT! OW," jheezz. Dads hand struck without warning.

"Fine line just got crossed little miss."

I was gonna say something else. I knew I was being cheeky, but they were makin' fun of me and it made mad. Then dad's eyebrows were really pointing down hard at me and I knew that was a warning. So I just smiled and in my nicest little friendly voice I asked, "Does the smocks have pockets in them Mr Potter? I need ones with big pockets, Mr. Potter."

''Yes Alexandra, Big pockets. ''

_Good_, I thought I'm gonna need enough pocket space for all my lucky charms ifin' I got walk around lookin' like, like a field full of Damn Daisies! Jason Cobbs gonna give a heap a grief when he sees me in these get ups.

''Thank you Mr. Potter, We'll take three." Dad said and then turned to me and raised his eyebrows which meant' SAY THANK YOU. I reckon those eyebrows have got a life of their own.

''Thank you very much Mr. Potter.''

Dad smiled. And everything was alright in the world again. For now.

''Alex, go and put your boots and socks on. Mr Potter and I are going to start loading the wagon.''

Just then Mrs. Wilburn walked in with some other Lady. I didn't know her. I could hear them talkin about the new layout of the store then they started talking about the two dresses that were still on the counter.

'' Oh aren't these sweet, Adam Cartwright must be getting these for his daughter. .. Now there's a good catch for you, Martha.''

My ears perked up. "_What_?" I thought … _what is he a Fish or Something!_

Mrs. Wilburn continued on and on "He's single, about 28 or 29 and his family are one of the wealthiest landowners in the territory. Blah, Blah, Blah."

"Really," said Martha, but she didn't sound all that interested in what Mrs Wilburn was saying. Probably could she couldn't get a word in edge wise.

The two ladies moved to the window in the next isle to peer out the window and take a look at," the most handsomest man in Nevada. Adam Cartwright." Well that's what Mrs. Wilburn called him. I nearly giggled as I snuck up the Isle peering at them through the empty shelf next to me. It looked like Mrs Wilburn was cut into three; legs, Bottom and middle, then chest shoulders and a head. But her head was a little cut off. It reminded me of 'Ivor the Magnificent Magician and His Pretty Assistant Delilah'. He had this trick, where he'd cut Delilah into three and then put her back together. One time when he got a longer ' gig' at the theatre he showed me how to pull a rabbit out of a hat. _Hmm I must try that with little George._

The Martha lady bent over to look out the window. I couldn't see her face. She didn't go all gushy though like Mrs. Wilburn. She just went " HMMMMM."

But then I heard. "He has a young daughter, Alex I think her name is. She's a real handful. Spends half the time dressed as a boy, running around without shoes, looking like nobody's child. Not much is known about her background. The Cartwrights keep that a well guarded secret. I suspect to protect the child. Probably some past indiscretion on the part of young Mr Cartwright. So goodness knows. I think her mother was a dancer and singer in some theatre further west of here. Well we all know what type of women they are! And what else they'll do when they have too! I heard a little rumour that she went totally insane and they put her away! Anyway what that child needs is a woman's touch; a respectable woman's touch!''

I wasn't sad, I was mad, no I was really both. I grabbed my sling shot that I always keep in my back pocket and then grabbed my lucky marble from my front bib. I'll need it.

It was too much of a temptation. There she was saying things about Daddy and really nasty things about my momma. I know that she's doesn't know anything and she's just a silly old sticky nose big bum, gossiper, and I know I shouldn't let it upset me, cause, cause, she's not the people I care about the most and it doesn't mean anything what other people who don't really know ya think. BUT names do hurt! So I aimed my shot right at her big fat bottom and fired my lucky shot into the great expanse_.(dad taught me that word, had something to with uncle Hoss's big belly.)_ There was so much padding cover Mrs. Big Butt she probably wouldn't feel it even with my lucky marble, but it felt good to just let the rubber band go.

The craziest sound I ever heard came out of Mrs Wilburn, _(her face not her butt, that wouldn't be very lady like), "_Yeeeeeeeeeeeesreeeeeeech." She screamed.

My lucky marble never fails!

Unfortunately, she lost her balance and fell backwards into the shelf next to her. It started to tip over and things started falling off the shelves around her. Then as slow as you please the whole shelf stated to groan and fell completely over. I dropped to the floor, real low and was lucky when the shelf came to rest on the other shelf that was against the wall. Everything else fell off the shelves and landed around me, and Mrs. Wilburn had fallen through the gap in the shelf and now her butt was squashing me in.

Daddy and Mr. Potter must have heard all the crashing and the screaming and ran in. I could hear Mr Potter yelling and trying to help . Ya think she was dying the way she was carrying on.

I was in more danger than her, I was being really squashed, if Mrs. Wilburns big bottom got any closer it was going to bury me alive. "I'm stuckted!" I yelled out.

Dad musta really panicked when he realised I was under all that, cause I know I was starting to. Mr. Potter was trying to pull her out, but not fast enough and she was still carrying on. It wasn't fast enough for me either so I grabbed a long hat pin that had fallen off the shelf and… and just well jabbed it as hard as I could at the large expanse in front of me. You'd think things couldn't get any worse, but all hell broke loose and Mrs Wilburn jumped and came unstuckted real fast. But she then fell on top of Mr Potter , who then fell on top of the shelves in the windows knocking just about everything over.

Thank goodness I could breathe again. I know I had a big smile on my face because the minute I looked up I was very, very close to the angriest looking eyebrows I've ever seen and I felt my smile drop a hundred feet and my stomach jumped up into my throat and the food in it nearly ended up in the angry scowl of daddy's face.

''I was stuckted'' I said.

Dad reached in and pulled me up and stood up plonking me on the ground. Then just when I thought he was gonna kill me, he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight. Too tight but I wasn't going to complain. "Alexandra."

''I'm okay daddy, I'm okay.''

"Not for long little Girl… In the wagon, NOW! '' He growled then sent me through the front door with the hardest smack I've ever felt.

_**End Flash back **_

''Alex if you don't come out right now. I'm gonna get Adam to unhinge the door.''

_Gosh was that Uncle Joe calling. I forgot I'm still in the outhouse. So here I am. Sorry that I had caused so much trouble, well not really sorry for Mrs. Wilburn. Sorry that Mr. Potters new layout got messed up. Sorry that dad had to pay for all the damage even sorrier that he still had enough money for those dumb dresses and very, very sorry that my dad was gonna "wail the livin daylights out of me.'' It wasn't all my fault. I grabbed one of Uncle Joe's detective magazines and slid it down the back of my overalls. After all I didn't have my lucky marble any more. It's probably embedded in Mrs. Wilburns butt. Poor thing it didn't deserve to go out that way_.

TBC Chapter 4 – The Not So Lucky Marble.

Sorry it was such a long chapter but there was stuff that needed to be included to fill you in on Alex's background and I like including little snippets from actual episodes. Oh and by the way I didn't forget about Martha She's out from Australia, visiting with Mrs Wilburn whom she finds unbearable. But she's never had the heartiest laugh like she did today. And she thinks Adam is gorgeous. She may turn up later.

Thanks for reviewing.


	4. The not so Lucky Marble

RED CHAIR BLUE CHAIR

Disclaimer : I do not own Bonanza, or any of its characters. David Dortort and Fred Hamilton created them and played with them for 14 years. The series is owned by NBC.

.A.N. The style of this chapter will similar to the first. _**Alex thoughts are in italics.**_ Oh, and Alex can't spell and is prone to ramble without taking a breath.

Warning : Spanking of a minor unless Alex can talk her way out of it.

**Chapter 4 – The Not So Lucky Marble.**

_**After all I didn't have my lucky marble any more. It's probably embedded in Mrs. Wilburn's butt. Poor thing it didn't deserve to go out that way.**_

Alexandra came out of the outhouse and walked with Uncle Joe over to the wash basin just outside the Kitchen door. They could hear Hoss and Adam talking.

''Awe Adam ya gotta admit. It's pretty funny. I for one, would have loved ta have seen that old biddy's face when she was stuck with that pin.''

Adam chuckled" No, her's wasn't the funniest, it was poor Sam's. When she just PLOPPED out, then started to fall on top of him …he ..he..he.. well, I think his life flashed before his eyes. "

_I know how he felt, but for me it was only a quick flash cause I'm only ten. _

''Oh… the place was a real mess though. Poor Sam he wouldn't let me stay and help, thought I better get my little hurricane home.''

Everybody erupted with laughter.

_Gosh, ya think ifin they think it was that funny, I wouldna had to stay in the corner all day!_

"Ah, yeweeee, ahhhhh,'' Hoss laughed then sighed, "no stop it Adam, I can't take it no more..." Hoss just couldn't stop belly laughing.

''Hey!'' Joe said, "come on wash your hands.'' He then flicked Alex with the towel, noticing a strange sound as the towel made contact with the paper book she'd tucked into her pants, thus detecting her little safety precaution.

_That little flick ruined my last hope. Uncle Joe, he's not as old as his big brother Adam, my daddy, but he is nearly just as smart because he figured out that I had a magazine down my overalls, ya know for padding, any way these detective books must be real good cause Joe detected that I had it there just by the sound the towel made when it hit my pants . That's the first rule ifin ya wanna be a detective, ya gotta keep ya eyes and ears open, even though ya ears are open all the time, even when ya sleep , but ya gotta have extra real good hearin to be a detective. Uncle Joe has real good extra hearin!_

''Hey wadda got in there '' Joe said real slow, as a mock warning.

"Nuffin!''

Joe smirked at his niece and lent to pull the soft book out. Turning away from him, Alex desperately retorted, ''No ya can't have it….. It's … it's protection.''

He turned her back and as quick as a flash "TA DA" he pulled it out.

_I should teach him the rabbit outta the hat trick; he got THE TA DA spot on__**. **_

Joe started laughing. ''Oh no pip squeak this ain't gonna work.''

"Howda you know?

''Because it never worked for me, well maybe once … with pa… when he used he his belt and he couldn't feel my butt, plus he had a bad cold and was all stuffed up in the head and couldn't hear a thing, but if he'd used his hand, well he would have guessed; just like Adam did that one time I tried to trick him. Let me tell you that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. He had to undo my pants and long john flap to get the book out then he just left them down and smacked my bare bottom. And there's those around here calls them there type of smacks "real stingers'', little lady.'' Explained Joe in a mock cowboy drawl…"If I were you I wouldn't be risking it.''

''Maybe he will use the belt?''_…..sounds like a plan?_

"Na darling, I don't think so. He wouldn't use a belt on you, only his hand.''

_Dang blam it, a hard hand and a conscience, just my luck, I'd wish I'd used the '' tiger eye'' that I won from Jason that day, then I would still have my lucky marble , which I think I'm really gonna need right now, but then ifin I had used the ''tiger eye'' it probably wouldna even touched the surface of Mrs. Sticky Nose Big Bum Wilburn's butt and I woulda not be in the big trouble I'm in now. Maybe I should get little George …na he don't fit in my bib pocket as well as my back pocket and he don't deserve no spanking from dad. _

Joe could see the worry on Alex's face '' You know he doesn't like having to spank you. And I bet my last dollar that he's in there feeling right sick about it.''

''Maybe we should call Doc martin. He could give him some tonic, like cough syrup, maybe he got an anti don't spank ya kids ifin it makes ya sick tonic. I mean he's getting old ya know, he should look after his health. I wouldn't want him getting sick on account of me."

Joe burst out giggling. Jeez, this kid got more lines that I ever had and she's dead serious about it.

_Gee Uncle Joe makes me laugh when he laughs like that. Nearly everybody starts to laugh when he laughs like that, its infected! Everybody just can't help themselves. Hey that's a plan! I could get Uncle Joe to go into the kitchen and tell a funny story. A funny story about him doing some silly bad thing, so they'd realise that kids just do bad silly stuff without meanin it, and then he could start laughing and then they all could start laughin and everybody would be laughin all night and dad would probably forget about the smacking stuff. _

''Hey, Uncle Joe; look you could really help me out. See if you go into the kitchen and create a divergent…''

"You mean diversion…. What kind of diversion?"

"_**Well, IFIN. YOU. WOULD. JUST. LET. ME. FINISH!"**_

Joe found it difficult to stop from bursting out laughing again as Alex stood there with one hand on her hip and the gesticulation of the other with every word she said.

''Well, if you could go in there and tell them all a funny story about one of your pranks or something. Like the time you were trimming daddy's hair, cause he was desperate, and you accidentally cut a big chunk outta the back, and if dad had found out he woulda rung your scrawny little neck. So ya tried to hide it from him by pretendin you was putting some fancy hair lotion on it and instead ya used the rubber glue and stuck in a big clump of hair onto the back of his head so that when he checked it in the mirror he wouldn't notice. And then when it fell out a couple days later, ya made him think he was going bald and convinced him to use a magic lotion that Hop Sing made and that ifin he used everyday his hair would grow back really thick. ''

Hmmmm...Dad must used it on his eyebrows instead.

''Oh but I wouldn't tell the part about how you and Hoss made the lotion out cow dung and linseed oil."

Joe absolutely lost it! Firstly because Alex was so animated and serious about her little plan and secondly because it was one of the funniest tricks they had ever played on Adam and he never ever found out.

At this thought Joe immediately stopped laughing. "Do I look crazy? I'm not going to tell him that. He WILL ring my scrawny little neck.

''Aww come on 'you'll be saving my skinny little hide.''

''Alexandra! I'm not going to do it, not even for your skinny little hide.''

Alex was now grasping at straws. ''Well maybe I will tell him then."

Joe frowned and bent down close to Alexandra's face. ''You do and BOTH OF US WILL BE SPORTING A VERY SORE ASS! That's blackmail!''

''Okayyyyy, I'm sorry I won't tell and I won't tell him you said the ass word in front of me either.''

Gosh this kid was sharp! ''Come on you've created enough diversions for one day. You're just delaying the inevitable.''

Joe took Alex's hand and walked into the kitchen. Hoss and Adam were sitting at the table. Hoss was still wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes and Hop Sing was chuckling while he stirred the pot on the stove. Adam quickly rubbed his hand across his face and left it there to cup his smirking mouth.

'_Gee Uncle Hoss is crying. Hmf…Crying with laughter and so is Hop Sing. I know he's laughing because when he laughs, he laughs in English, when he gets angry ,he gets angry in Chinese and when he gets sad, he gets sad in both. Dad's not laughing. He's got his hand over his mouth. Gee maybe Uncle Joe is right maybe he is feeling sick. Maybe he's gonna vomit. Golly I didn't mean for him to feel so bad._

Adam removed his hand from his mouth to speak.'' Alex go and sit down in the big room. I will be there in a minute.''

''Can I give you a hug first?''

''Sure sweetheart, come here.'' And he held out his arms.

Alex dropped into his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck then played with his hair.

After a moment Alex spoke without moving from her comfortable position. ''Hey daddy looks like that lotion of Uncle Joe's and Uncle Hoss's worked, your hairs all grown back and boy is it thick.''

Joe and Hoss spluttered.

''Are you trying to butter me up now?''

She turned and looked at the concerned faces of Joe and Hoss.

_Naaa…. she couldn't do it to them. It would be really mean, besides they're the best Uncles in the whole world__**. **_

''Yep! Any LUCK?"

"Nope … off you go.''

They all watched her leave S L o w L y and head off to the big room.

Adam drank the last of his coffee. ''Well, time to deal with our little cyclone.''

''Poor kid ''said Joe.

''Don't be too hard on her Adam she's just a little speck of a thing,'' pleaded Hoss.

''Lotta mischief, ''piped up Hop Sing. "Just like naughty boy Little Joe.''

"And just like naughty boy Little Joe, she's going to get a spanking," declared Adam.

They all nodded in resignation. Little Joe winched at the memory of his brothers hard hand.

''Stop making feel like a real heel. She did cause absolute chaos today, injured an elderly citizen of Virgina City and nearly got herself seriously hurt. She needs to control that temper of hers and not be so impulsive. She's so much like her m... I know she's only ten but well …. Well, she needs to understand that there are consequences for her actions. And if I don't teach her that then…. then anything could happen.''

The boys knew he was starting to think about Kathryn, so Joe broke in with his observations.

''Who ya tryin to convince, us or you? You blistered my butt plenty of times and I live to tell the proverbial tale. Well my tail, maybe not.''

Adam chuckled and then rolled his eyes. ''Thanks you could have left out that last part.''

''Come on Adam. She'll be fine. Can't wait to hear her excuses though, she sure is a funny little scallywag, '' said Hoss

''Yes your right. I'm sure they will be," he said, then headed off to the big room.

Adam paused a moment as he watched Alex fidget with her short blond curls. She was sitting on the arm of the big red chair, swinging her legs and pulling on a wayward ringlet, then releasing it and watching it bounce back to her forehead. Time to put her out of her misery thought Adam.

Adam had swatted Alex a few of times over the last year but had only ever really spanked her twice and only then because she couldn't control that temper of hers. Both times she had thrown a real good tantrum, kicking and yelling before picking up the nearest object and hurtling it across the room in anger. On those occasions Adam had quietly and quickly grabbed the child around the waist, sat down in the blue chair and put her across his knee. The six stinging smacks applied to her little backside were effective and stopped Alex in her tracks. The tirade of anger turned into tears, apologies' and a long cuddle.

Adam hoped that this time would be less dramatic and minus a tantrum. This morning's events were more than dramatic enough. He and his brothers had to admit that they found the entire event even a little funny, well a lot actually, but Alex was not going to know that. She would be sure to play on that. She was very good at misconstruing the seriousness of a situation and could just about talk her way out of anything. Adam was positive that Alex would probably do well in a legal career either that or become the ring master of a circus.

''Alexandra'' Adam spoke as he walked to the blue chair and sat down. He crooked his finger and called her over. ''Come here" he said, pointing to the space in front of him. He put both hands on her hips and said. ''Before we have a very serious discussion over my knee little lady. I would like to know why you fired a potentially dangerous missile at Mrs Wilburn?''

"She said mean things!"

''What mean things did she say?''

''I can't rememba exactly, but she called you a fish and momma an insane dancer and goodness knows what else. And she said I looked like nobodies child. Oh, and she said you should get married to a despicable woman.''

Somehow Adam didn't think Alex had got everything quite right, maybe she wouldn't do well in law after all; she'd make a terrible witness on the stand. However the word insane worried him. Alex obviously didn't know what it meant, but she got the gist that it was something bad. The snarkey old biddy deserved a good spanking too. Yet while her comments were vexatious and malicious, Alex's actions could have had serious consequences.

''Well Alex, your right Mrs Wilburn did say mean things but you could have really hurt Mrs Wilburn. If that marble had hit her in the head it could have …" He hesitated to say 'kill her', ''or hit her in the eye you could have blinded her.''

''Just like when David killed Goliath with his sling shot?''

''Yep a little like that.''

''But David was the good guy. And the giant was the bad guy''

''No well, not really like that then … the giant was a really, really bad person and Mrs Wilburn is not, she's just said mean things, so you can't hurt her. You know that. ''

''She just has a giant ass.'' _Oops just thought out loud again!_

''Alex !'' Swat …smack

''OW … OW..!You make it sound like I killed her; she only ended up with a sore bottom, which seems only fair as now I've got one too!''

''Yes well to take your lead with the bible quotes… 'An eye for an eye, A tooth for a tooth!''

Alex crossed her arms and pouted, ''I was only defending our honour … And besides, how was I supposed to know all that stuff was going to happen. I'm a good shot. I aimed at her ass…arr bottom. It was wide enough… I coulda been blind folded and still would a hit it. It didn't seem that dangerous … Well not until her butt nearly swallowed me whole when I got stuck under the shelf.''

While Adam wanted to break into laughter his poker face remained serious. To stop himself he pretended to ponder on the situation by pinching the bridge of his nose.

Giggles could be heard coming from the kitchen Joe's infectious laugh nearly set Adam off. So he coughed really loudly.

The boys took the cue and exited out the back door laughing hysterically. They headed to the barn to finish chores before dinner.

Alex didn't take her eyes of her father, trying to read his features. She knew she was doomed but how completely doomed was yet to be determined.

''Alexandra , being upset by an old gossiping woman does not condone you shooting Mrs Wilburn with a slingshot, causing her to fall, which in turn caused utter chaos and a lot of damage to Mr. Potter's store and nearly killed you in the process. All because you lost your temper! You will NOT get your sling shot back EVER! ''

_Geesh, he's making it sound much worse than it really was. What am I gunna do now. Without my sling shot means that I'm gonna have no hope keeping my championship title of the best shot, 12 and under._

Adam noticed her daydreaming and put his hand under her chin and lifted it up, gaining her attention, ''And what were you thinking when you stabbed Mrs Wilburn with a six inch hat pin.''

_Shooting! , stabbing!, He's makin this sound really, really, bad. _

''Well ?''

''Huh?''

''What were you thinking of when you stuck a pin into Mrs Wilburn's asarrr… bottom.''

''_**SELF PRESERVATION! **_…it was a pretty tight and sticky and stinky situation ya know!''

Adam was about to give up, he again pinched the bridge of his nose to remind himself to stay focused. ''Alex tell me why are you being punished this afternoon.''

''Because grandpas commin home tonight and he would be very sad to have to you listen to his favourite granddaughter being murdered.''

''ALEXANDRA!''

'' Because Mrs Wilburn nearly died when she fell back and broke Mr. Potters store and nearly killed me when she landed on top of me. Because Mrs. Sticky Nose Big buuu…,Mrs Wilburn is mean and a nasty gossiper, but not a giant so she shouldn't havta die just maybe loose a couple of teeth. I think loosing and eye would be a bit mean dad, you should not have said that. Poor thing she's ugly enough. She'd look like a pirate, which would be ok if ya wanna look like a pirate, but I don't think she would like to look like a pirate.''

''ALEANDRA!'' Adam tried to calm down before he went on. His father had always advised that punishment administered to a child should never be done in anger or frustration. The without frustration part wasn't working for him at the moment.

''Alexandra, you are purposely changing the slant on this incident. Now either answer my questions honestly and sincerely or you will be getting this spanking on your bare bottom and another one every night for a week.''

So there it was. One of the things that his pa would have said; one of the threats Adam promised himself he would never say to a child of his own. My god he'd become his father!

Alex's eyes went wide. She was either going to wet her pants or burst into tears. She decided she better talk fast. So she plodded on as best she could. ''I shot my magic marble at Mrs Wilburn because it's my lucky one and I knowed it would hurt, because I'm the under 12 champion and I never miss - I was mad cause she said mean things. It was my fault that Mr. Potters store got broke – up and you had to pay for everything that got broke - I stuck a long, long pin into Mrs Wilburn that coulda been very dangerous for Mr Potter because shescreamed and landed on top of him which mighta crippled him and he mighta had to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair and I would feel so bad and you woulda have had to bought his store and I would work there for free so I could make it up to Mr Potter - and even if Mrs Wilburn came in I would treat her as a despicable lady and be nice to her so you could be proud of me."

Adam gave up trying to get a straight answer from her. Fact was, it was exactly how she thought and saw it. Her creative embellishments were truly a gift and she did pretty much hit the nail on the head regarding the mistakes she had made and the consequences of her choices.

''Alexandra I am already proud of you.''

Alex smiled ''so no spanking then?''

''No such luck little girl, but you get to keep your britches up.'' With that he put Alex across his knee and administered the first hard smack.

''Oweee .''Alex yelped and wriggled.

Smack ,Smack.

''Ow… Ow'' Alex started to buck and twist, then kick her legs trying to get off her father's knees. Adam held firm.

''Alex, STOP KICKING!''

''WELL STOP SMACKING THEN!''

Adam trapped her kicking legs with his right leg and continued to smack her denim clad bottom.

Smack, "You will not lose your temper," Smack, Smack, "and throw things," Smack, or "shoot," Smack, or try to hurt anyone," Smack, Smack. "No thinking Out Loud!" Smack, "and no acting without thinking." Smack, Smack, Smack. "Is That Clear?''

Alex was yelling so loud she didn't actually hear her father, but she didn't feel another swat so she thought he must have finished.

Smack

"Owwee"

''Alex, do you understand?''

''Yes sir.''

Adam stood her up and looked at her tear stained face. Within a couple of seconds she stopped jumping up and down on the balls of her feet and started to rub her backside. Adam's heart nearly melted when he spotted a fresh set of tears building up in the wells of her eyes ,slighting vibrating and threatening to spill from the rims of her big bright green orbs.

''I don't think it was worth getting mad at Mrs Wilburn Alex, do you?''

''No sir. Definitely not…Not for Mr Potters store, not for you, not for Mrs Wilburn …well maybe for Mrs Wilburn …" Adam frowned, " or maybe not…Definitely not for me. But most of all, not for my lucky marble; I never got it back. I guess it's not so lucky any more. It's probably lost forever in the great expanse of Mrs Wilburns aa... Petticoats.'' she sniffed. ''Are you still mad at me?''

''A Little," Adam said and then kissed her forehead. "But I love you very, very much and I never want to see you get hurt. You know I was really scared today. I thought you might have been crushed by those big shelves. I was so scared, I thought you may have been really, really hurt or even killed. And Alex, that would have made me very sad. So sad that I don't think I would ever get over it. Grandpa and Hoss and Joe they wouldn't get over it either because they love you so much, as much as me. So you need to remember this little talk, so there won't be a next time. So you will think before you lose your temper.''

''You didn't talk much. Next time, talk as much as you want.''

''No next time, Alex. Alexandra, promise me.'' Adam asked gently and quietly.

That was it. The flood gates opened and Alex started to sob and sob.

Sobbing and hiccup-ping she tried to say ''I ppp promise daddy .. .I I I www won't ever wa…wa want to make you sssaaad . ''

Adam picked up his little girl and stood up. Resting her head on his shoulder, she snuggled into his neck under his chin. Adam held her up with one arm supporting her bottom while the other hand rubbed her back.

''Shhh, shhhh, it's okay , it's okay. It's over now.'' He cooed. Alex had never seemed so small and so young. He imagined that this is what she would have been like as a toddler. It made him sad to think that he hadn't been part of her life at that time. He gently rocked from side to side and sang…

_Backward, turn backward, oh, time in your flight_

_Make you a baby again, just for to night!_

_My baby come back from the echoless shore,_

_Take you again to my heart as of yore._

_Kiss on your forehead the furruws of care,_

_Smooth the fine silver thread out of your hair,_

_Over the slumbers you're loving watch I keep._

_Rock you to sleep, darling— rock you to sleep!_

As he continued to sing Adam moved to the big red chair and sat Alex on his knee. She turned a little sideways and continued to snuggle into his shoulder. Sniffing every once and awhile.

''Shhh shhh I'm not mad anymore… shh come on…shhhh and he kissed her head softly.''

''Good''

With that Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out the brightly colored marble he found on the floor of the store and handed it to her.

''Here you may need this."

**THE END **

**WELL NOT QUITE **

**Epilogue **

Ben arrived home late that night and found Alex and Adam both asleep in the big red chair. He grabbed a throw rug and placed it gently over them. He was happy to be home and the sight of his son with his granddaughter snuggled up in her nightdress cradled in her father's lap was divine. They would all catch up tomorrow, over a nice big breakfast. He was eager to hear all their news and talk about his trip to San Francisco. He had little gifts for all of them and couldn't wait to hand them out. He hoped Alexandra would like the lovely little dress he'd picked out for her; Green with little yellow flowers and a matching bonnet.

**Now the end – hope you enjoyed it. **

**A.N. Song adapted from **"Rock Me To Sleep" (Words by Florence Percy. alias for Elizabeth Akers Allen, 1832-1911)

Keep your eye out for the next story

"**I've swallowed the green dress" **…. And watch Alex pull a rabbit out of her hat !


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